Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Free will and the universe
The worrisome self is starting its onslaught again. if it is not this, its that, and if not that, this. a ding dong merry round around 2 polar worry magnets, that suck the very life out of me, and make me fretful over the hole in the bridge.
In my mind, is a mental list of all the things I will lose, if I lose just that one thing, and a frightful movie of my world collapsing all around me. In this matter, my imagination knows no bounds. While its purpose is to free others from the confines of their present state, mine cripples and binds me in a distant uncertain future.
Even while looking forward to the Sweden stint with the boy, I fear for the time when we come back, and face that dreaded hole. This is not the way to live.
Free will - we love it and hate it. God gave us free will, a mighty brave thing to do, and He lets us experience what free will means, when He gives all our loved ones a will of their own. We experience His anxiety as we watch our loved ones make choices around us, and that is love in the deepest sense, to let go, and let the other have the freedom to choose.
God created the world, and designed it to be a massive treasure hunt. He put delicious secrets in the universe, and designed our brains to understand and seek them: the medicinal value of plants, the solar system, intricacies of the atom, uses of penicillin, radio and sound waves, unique properties of water, time's own fabric, lightning and electricity.
He gave us clues here and there, intervened in history to nudge a scientist in the correct path, whispered to inventors unbeknownst to them. Yet the arrogance of Man, attributed intelligence to their very own existence. God's gift to Man was knowledge, and He gave it solely to Man, not to animals, but the gift has corrupted us and made us proud.
I firmly believe, the only way to understand our very own existence is to know God, or we will lose ourselves in a labyrinth of knowledge, and never find the reason behind all the profoundities in the universe.
In my mind, is a mental list of all the things I will lose, if I lose just that one thing, and a frightful movie of my world collapsing all around me. In this matter, my imagination knows no bounds. While its purpose is to free others from the confines of their present state, mine cripples and binds me in a distant uncertain future.
Even while looking forward to the Sweden stint with the boy, I fear for the time when we come back, and face that dreaded hole. This is not the way to live.
Free will - we love it and hate it. God gave us free will, a mighty brave thing to do, and He lets us experience what free will means, when He gives all our loved ones a will of their own. We experience His anxiety as we watch our loved ones make choices around us, and that is love in the deepest sense, to let go, and let the other have the freedom to choose.
God created the world, and designed it to be a massive treasure hunt. He put delicious secrets in the universe, and designed our brains to understand and seek them: the medicinal value of plants, the solar system, intricacies of the atom, uses of penicillin, radio and sound waves, unique properties of water, time's own fabric, lightning and electricity.
He gave us clues here and there, intervened in history to nudge a scientist in the correct path, whispered to inventors unbeknownst to them. Yet the arrogance of Man, attributed intelligence to their very own existence. God's gift to Man was knowledge, and He gave it solely to Man, not to animals, but the gift has corrupted us and made us proud.
I firmly believe, the only way to understand our very own existence is to know God, or we will lose ourselves in a labyrinth of knowledge, and never find the reason behind all the profoundities in the universe.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
my choice
I will let him have the autonomy to decide whether he wishes to play computer games or to go play with the kids.
I will try not to think too much into his decision, and to extend it to other matters.
I will try to enjoy myself anyway in his absence.
I will try to find a balance between an independent life, and interdependency.
I will try not to think too much into his decision, and to extend it to other matters.
I will try to enjoy myself anyway in his absence.
I will try to find a balance between an independent life, and interdependency.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Life and death, leaving and arriving
These past few days have been a whirlwind for me, thrown into a whirlpool ever since my last paper ended. I told the boy, that the last paper is an unseen but very real threshold to cross, and beyond that, life takes on another pace of its own. True enough, everything we had suspended in lieu of the examinations came back to life with a will of its own, and we fell along the strong current.
Children's Camp was unbelievably exhausting, fun and most enjoyable. We loved every minute spend with them. I had the opportunity to really talk and enjoy myself with them all. Really hope that this relationship will continue, then when we all grow older, we will all become firm friends.
These days, I keenly feel I am gaining some perspectives on life and death. The other day the boy had to fetch Katrina to his grandfather's deathbed, he shared with me later on his ambivalent feelings towards hospital. Hospitals and Airports are places where the atmosphere is almost always choked with emotion. Departing and arriving, birth and death. In the airports, perhaps there is some hope for respite, for the person is merely going away for a while, but in the hospital, people come from and leave for another world. It is a place where people become fathers and mothers, and a place where they lose their own fathers and mothers, where life comes full circle.
Seeing Ezekiel at George's funeral brought back many childhood memories. More importantly, it reminded that time had moved on, and people had change.
Children's Camp was unbelievably exhausting, fun and most enjoyable. We loved every minute spend with them. I had the opportunity to really talk and enjoy myself with them all. Really hope that this relationship will continue, then when we all grow older, we will all become firm friends.
These days, I keenly feel I am gaining some perspectives on life and death. The other day the boy had to fetch Katrina to his grandfather's deathbed, he shared with me later on his ambivalent feelings towards hospital. Hospitals and Airports are places where the atmosphere is almost always choked with emotion. Departing and arriving, birth and death. In the airports, perhaps there is some hope for respite, for the person is merely going away for a while, but in the hospital, people come from and leave for another world. It is a place where people become fathers and mothers, and a place where they lose their own fathers and mothers, where life comes full circle.
Seeing Ezekiel at George's funeral brought back many childhood memories. More importantly, it reminded that time had moved on, and people had change.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Micro 2
I'm feeling very restless now, this is what afternoon papers do to me. Suspend you in a limbo, when the time passes much too fast, and much too slow.
Its at 5pm.
To illustrate the magical concept of time and the precious information which it reveals.
I shall attempt to guess which questions will be presented in the exam.
and in about 6 hours time, I shall return, and tell you what was tested.
I think the following will be tested:
Theory of the firm.
Bargaining
Incentives Contracting
Uncertainty and insurance
robinson crusoe economy
Stackelberg
Collusion
Its at 5pm.
To illustrate the magical concept of time and the precious information which it reveals.
I shall attempt to guess which questions will be presented in the exam.
and in about 6 hours time, I shall return, and tell you what was tested.
I think the following will be tested:
Theory of the firm.
Bargaining
Incentives Contracting
Uncertainty and insurance
robinson crusoe economy
Stackelberg
Collusion
Monday, November 26, 2007
The hole in the Bridge
I was reading Crystal's latest entry when I was struck by her account of her baby cousin, she wished him; "may you always be honest about the things you love".
In fact, that's what I want to be. But in this world, being honest about the things you love, means vulnerability, to the object of love as well as to the whole world. The world has become such a cynic. And we mask our love in every other contrary thing, to make us look invincible, and powerful.
A very meaningful conversation with the boy that day taught me something about myself. I told him about a time bridge that extents from now to 3 years from now, and I told him about the little hole in the bridge, and the fear I have that we cannot jump over that hole.
Then he told me that if I were to cross that bridge and come to that hole, I would actually realize its not that big a deal, but from far it looks more dangerous than it really is. And the problem with me, he said, is that I let the hole become my world, and lose sight of the bridge. It was thought-provoking. That happened a few days ago, and yet I have been chewing on it.
I really wish I can keep up my worry-free state of living.
In fact, that's what I want to be. But in this world, being honest about the things you love, means vulnerability, to the object of love as well as to the whole world. The world has become such a cynic. And we mask our love in every other contrary thing, to make us look invincible, and powerful.
A very meaningful conversation with the boy that day taught me something about myself. I told him about a time bridge that extents from now to 3 years from now, and I told him about the little hole in the bridge, and the fear I have that we cannot jump over that hole.
Then he told me that if I were to cross that bridge and come to that hole, I would actually realize its not that big a deal, but from far it looks more dangerous than it really is. And the problem with me, he said, is that I let the hole become my world, and lose sight of the bridge. It was thought-provoking. That happened a few days ago, and yet I have been chewing on it.
I really wish I can keep up my worry-free state of living.
Friday, November 16, 2007
The exams are here again. And we have confirmed our air tickets to sweden. We fly on the 8th of January at an untimely hour.
I am fascinated by stories. Amazing how people can come up with characters, larger than life, that commands people to believe them, love them, hate them. I do admire actors too, not for their fame, or looks or money, but for their sheer love, and service they do to such characters, in giving them a life, a time, and a space in our 3 dimensional universe.
The versatility of good actors is like a fine canvas. They lend their bodies, face and time to art, and the audience's amusement.
What a wonderful life!
I am fascinated by stories. Amazing how people can come up with characters, larger than life, that commands people to believe them, love them, hate them. I do admire actors too, not for their fame, or looks or money, but for their sheer love, and service they do to such characters, in giving them a life, a time, and a space in our 3 dimensional universe.
The versatility of good actors is like a fine canvas. They lend their bodies, face and time to art, and the audience's amusement.
What a wonderful life!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
No worries
I just remembered, I wanted to update my readers on something.
Ever since Miroris, I have not worried. I think I have put on weight, and that's a good thing, because I'm happy. Worry really does eat away at the bones, as a very wise man said in Proverbs.
I think something my budz said was stunningly accurate. When you stop thinking that you can't live without something, you stop worrying you will lose it, and in so, you keep what you want.
Ever since Miroris, I have not worried. I think I have put on weight, and that's a good thing, because I'm happy. Worry really does eat away at the bones, as a very wise man said in Proverbs.
I think something my budz said was stunningly accurate. When you stop thinking that you can't live without something, you stop worrying you will lose it, and in so, you keep what you want.
Driving test approaches...
I am really looking forward to my driving test. This is in no way an indication of how confident I am, because I can assure you, I'm not one bit confident. I still make silly mistakes once in a while, like lifting up the clutch too early and making the car jerk, or moving off too slowly at traffic light junctions. I still get nervous and sweaty whenever I have to make a U turn or a right turn at a complicated junction.
It was only when I started driving as an 'L' plate learner, that I began to appreciate the difficulties a driver has. I still find it amazing, the amount of coordination that is going on, between signals, motorists, and within the driver himself, between his brain and limbs. I find it miraculous that:
- when the light turns amber or red, everyone steps on the brake pedal and slows down.
- thousands of fast speed vehicles safely changing lanes at any one time on the roads.
I can't wait for the driving test experience! I may not pass. But still I think its exciting. And for the kind well-wishers out there, its on 22nd October, thats next next monday. Keep me in your prayer, do. I'll be grateful!
It was only when I started driving as an 'L' plate learner, that I began to appreciate the difficulties a driver has. I still find it amazing, the amount of coordination that is going on, between signals, motorists, and within the driver himself, between his brain and limbs. I find it miraculous that:
- when the light turns amber or red, everyone steps on the brake pedal and slows down.
- thousands of fast speed vehicles safely changing lanes at any one time on the roads.
I can't wait for the driving test experience! I may not pass. But still I think its exciting. And for the kind well-wishers out there, its on 22nd October, thats next next monday. Keep me in your prayer, do. I'll be grateful!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
melancholy
The boy is sad, and so I am.
It's not the same as the boy is sad, and so am I.
You get my drift?
It's not the same as the boy is sad, and so am I.
You get my drift?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
An economic perspective...
Let there be 2 goods. Time spent alone and time spent with you.
Let there be 2 agents. Me and you.
Is it possible to find a Pareto efficient outcome that will make both of us happy? Who would the results skew to?
We want to max our utilty subject to the time constraint.
max u(time alone, time spent wth you) s.t. t = 24 x 7
The question remains. What does our individual utility function look like?
Let there be 2 agents. Me and you.
Is it possible to find a Pareto efficient outcome that will make both of us happy? Who would the results skew to?
We want to max our utilty subject to the time constraint.
max u(time alone, time spent wth you) s.t. t = 24 x 7
The question remains. What does our individual utility function look like?
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Happily ever after
There is something about happily ever after endings that isn't quite complete. There are people who believe in it, and there are those who think that it is a fiasco. I am straddling between the two.
I just realized that Ralph Fiennes is an extremely versatile actor, and he now makes my list of favourite actors of all time. Somehow, watching him portray the role of Marshall in "Maid in Manhatten" redefines the meaning of happily ever after. I don't know why, but even up to now. I still get a thrill up my spine whenever I watch a "happily ever after"ending, and I would remain dazed for quite some moments before I revert back to my, not so happily ever after life, by Hollywood's standard, of course.
When we discover more of a person, does it make us love him/her more, or less? Depends on what we see, doesn't it? But sometimes, mystique is such a powerful aphrodisiac.
Some of us like to think that we are past the stage of exciting love rapture, and sweet talk, and have somewhat graduated to a more mature and less showy love, thinking that it gives us the license to laugh and scorn at love-raptured notes of adoration, or to view such intense romance with cynicism.
Oh, they will get over it one day. Wait till the fights start kicking in.
Then we wonder why our lives are so empty and devoid of excitement, or why our feelings have faded away.
I attended Zhou Ming's wedding yesterday, and encountered once again that powerful passage in 1 Corinthians 13. And I wrote down my thoughts on the bus home today.
The Bible says love is patient, love is kind, love is not self seeking. It doesn't ever say that love is exciting. Is it really possible to love another human being so ideally? It doesn't seem humanly possible, because human nature is just simply unlovable. Only with God's love can we love so unconditionally and selflessly. Yet this love is deemed weak in a dog-eat-dog world. Which bugger can really keep no record of wrongs? Only those with Alzheimer's! But I think God didn't paint this perfect picture of love to make us despair, but rather to give us a blueprint of the kind of love that we are all searching for.
I just realized that Ralph Fiennes is an extremely versatile actor, and he now makes my list of favourite actors of all time. Somehow, watching him portray the role of Marshall in "Maid in Manhatten" redefines the meaning of happily ever after. I don't know why, but even up to now. I still get a thrill up my spine whenever I watch a "happily ever after"ending, and I would remain dazed for quite some moments before I revert back to my, not so happily ever after life, by Hollywood's standard, of course.
When we discover more of a person, does it make us love him/her more, or less? Depends on what we see, doesn't it? But sometimes, mystique is such a powerful aphrodisiac.
Some of us like to think that we are past the stage of exciting love rapture, and sweet talk, and have somewhat graduated to a more mature and less showy love, thinking that it gives us the license to laugh and scorn at love-raptured notes of adoration, or to view such intense romance with cynicism.
Oh, they will get over it one day. Wait till the fights start kicking in.
Then we wonder why our lives are so empty and devoid of excitement, or why our feelings have faded away.
I attended Zhou Ming's wedding yesterday, and encountered once again that powerful passage in 1 Corinthians 13. And I wrote down my thoughts on the bus home today.
The Bible says love is patient, love is kind, love is not self seeking. It doesn't ever say that love is exciting. Is it really possible to love another human being so ideally? It doesn't seem humanly possible, because human nature is just simply unlovable. Only with God's love can we love so unconditionally and selflessly. Yet this love is deemed weak in a dog-eat-dog world. Which bugger can really keep no record of wrongs? Only those with Alzheimer's! But I think God didn't paint this perfect picture of love to make us despair, but rather to give us a blueprint of the kind of love that we are all searching for.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
the new sem
I have mixed feelings about this semester. There are ups and downs. Of course, I am still thankful for the PGP rooms, makes life alot easier. But the workload this semester is quite overwhelming, in terms of the content that we have to internalize.
Thats it for now. I'm tired. Now the boy just wrote a funny passage about my chin. But i am embarassed to post it. Those closer to us should know what I mean by that.
Thats it for now. I'm tired. Now the boy just wrote a funny passage about my chin. But i am embarassed to post it. Those closer to us should know what I mean by that.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Hostel waiting list -- Successful!!!
Dear Readers,
I know I've gone on a hiatus for quite a while, and that's because i have been mulling and fretting about my hostel application via waiting list. and GUESS WHAT! the boy and I both got rooms! hahaha.. He got TYPE A, while I got TYPE C room.
It was quite an adrenaline-filled and nerve wrecking process. The boy was smart enough to begin applying at 11:59 while hitting the SUBMIT button at 12 midnight sharp. His application clocked in 00:00:23. On the 23rd second. Me, however? I began logging in at 12 midnight, and... needless to say, of course the server response was slow, given the hundreds of undergrads logging in at the same time. My application was clocked, I believe, between 12:03am and 12:04am.
Little wonder, that the boy got allocated his room a whole 24 hours before me, which sent me into a silenced frenzy for the day. And today on the 23rd of August, I got it too!
God blessed us! Thank YOU.....
More updates from PGP soon!
I know I've gone on a hiatus for quite a while, and that's because i have been mulling and fretting about my hostel application via waiting list. and GUESS WHAT! the boy and I both got rooms! hahaha.. He got TYPE A, while I got TYPE C room.
It was quite an adrenaline-filled and nerve wrecking process. The boy was smart enough to begin applying at 11:59 while hitting the SUBMIT button at 12 midnight sharp. His application clocked in 00:00:23. On the 23rd second. Me, however? I began logging in at 12 midnight, and... needless to say, of course the server response was slow, given the hundreds of undergrads logging in at the same time. My application was clocked, I believe, between 12:03am and 12:04am.
Little wonder, that the boy got allocated his room a whole 24 hours before me, which sent me into a silenced frenzy for the day. And today on the 23rd of August, I got it too!
God blessed us! Thank YOU.....
More updates from PGP soon!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Gone Cold
The altar is cold, and barren against the touch
Warm wine poured forth into silver goblets
Drunk by silhouettes, murmuring.
They come and they leave,
Circulating like the warm wine in the body
That gradually turns
Cold.
The keyboards sing a praise
A resounding cymbal
Clap your hands, all ye instruments
They compliment the bassist with the brilliant
walking bass line,
and listen to the 16-beat roll of the drums.
Weekly, they pass like shadows
From the noonday sun,
The same handshakes, the same smiles
The same greetings,
Hows your baby doing?
We do not have ears, we cannot hear.
Vengeance is mine, I will repay.
Sounds the great and terrible Voice
And even the pews tremble.
W.J.H
Warm wine poured forth into silver goblets
Drunk by silhouettes, murmuring.
They come and they leave,
Circulating like the warm wine in the body
That gradually turns
Cold.
The keyboards sing a praise
A resounding cymbal
Clap your hands, all ye instruments
They compliment the bassist with the brilliant
walking bass line,
and listen to the 16-beat roll of the drums.
Weekly, they pass like shadows
From the noonday sun,
The same handshakes, the same smiles
The same greetings,
Hows your baby doing?
We do not have ears, we cannot hear.
Vengeance is mine, I will repay.
Sounds the great and terrible Voice
And even the pews tremble.
W.J.H
Thursday, August 9, 2007
National Day Parade 2007
I really enjoyed this year's NDP. The theme was brought out so very well, a world of possibilities. Every act and spectacle serves to reinforce once again, that we can dream big, as a nation and as individuals. Even the location was ideal. The Singapore River where we humbly began, and yet now the skyline testify to our success and prosperity in a mere 42 years. All that was captured very beautifully, in a harmony of sky and water.
"It was the best of times, It was the worst of times." The morale is unbelievably high this year. We are undoubtedly born in one of the golden periods of Singapore, and perhaps of the world, having seen neither the toil and hardship of our forefathers, nor the poverty of their contemporaries, yet being able to enjoy the fruits of their labour with a prospering economy and good governance.
Of course, some able-bodied NSF may retort about how NDP may be a highly "wayang" affair. As in every cause, we will have our fair share of cynicism and satirical jokes. Yet let spectacle, glory, and patriotism have its hour, for there is a place and a time, for the celebration of the nation, for the fireworks and for the tingling of the spine at the Singapore flag flown high, for the lovely harmonies and the new and adventurous tunes that capture the essence of our time, for the resolute and immutable national anthem.
Happy Birthday Singapore.
"It was the best of times, It was the worst of times." The morale is unbelievably high this year. We are undoubtedly born in one of the golden periods of Singapore, and perhaps of the world, having seen neither the toil and hardship of our forefathers, nor the poverty of their contemporaries, yet being able to enjoy the fruits of their labour with a prospering economy and good governance.
Of course, some able-bodied NSF may retort about how NDP may be a highly "wayang" affair. As in every cause, we will have our fair share of cynicism and satirical jokes. Yet let spectacle, glory, and patriotism have its hour, for there is a place and a time, for the celebration of the nation, for the fireworks and for the tingling of the spine at the Singapore flag flown high, for the lovely harmonies and the new and adventurous tunes that capture the essence of our time, for the resolute and immutable national anthem.
Happy Birthday Singapore.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
A day will come...
There will come a time, when I'm old and haggard, with saggy cheeks an sallow skin. But it is not this day.
There will come a time, when I will gaze at my children or grandchildren with all the raptures and longing to be young again, but it is not this day.
There will come a time, when I will dispense words of wisdom and caution to the careless youths of tomorrow, but it is not this day.
There will come a time, when I will count the days I have to live by, and wait for that hour, but it is not this day.
This day...
I AM that reckless youth. I have the right to be careless, and to dress up and travel and do all the things young people do.
lest I should regret when i reach that fateful day.
SO let the worries fly out of the window. We're going SWEDEN!!!
Watch this space for Boy and Goon in Sweden!
There will come a time, when I will gaze at my children or grandchildren with all the raptures and longing to be young again, but it is not this day.
There will come a time, when I will dispense words of wisdom and caution to the careless youths of tomorrow, but it is not this day.
There will come a time, when I will count the days I have to live by, and wait for that hour, but it is not this day.
This day...
I AM that reckless youth. I have the right to be careless, and to dress up and travel and do all the things young people do.
lest I should regret when i reach that fateful day.
SO let the worries fly out of the window. We're going SWEDEN!!!
Watch this space for Boy and Goon in Sweden!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Owl Post and other musings
There is something very dramatic about millions of books travelling to the world at the same time, arriving at people's doorsteps. This bomba-lastic (this funny, non-existent word came to mind) phenomenon seems to be something that just might happen in the world of Harry Potter itself, thus fanning the magic and excitement. Granted that if it were their world, we could possibly suffer from an attack of owl droppings. Yet, behind these astronomical figures, every book that arrives at a home seeks to consort a private audience with its reader, making this Harry Potter event not just phenomenal but also very personal. It is clear that we all seek an alternate reality from time to time, and the more vivid this other world is, the more willing we are to escape into its realms. I shall be quite reluctant to leave the world of Harry Potter, and would be sure to bequeath this wonderful legacy to my future children.
The magical world aside, I came across a most pointed and poignant column in Life! today, by Teo Cheng Wee. His bolded summary of the column read,
"I've always been dismissive of the relationship between my youngest brother and his girlfriend. But at their wedding recently, it dawned on me that what they have is what I've always dreamt of having."
Apparently, this young couple tied the knot two weeks ago, on 070707, after 10 years of courtship. In this column, the writer recounts how his immediate family members had disapproved of the courtship because "they were all of 16 years when they got together." And the couple had to suffer a whole decade of doubts and disbeliefs that they will ever last. The cloud only lifted after they had announced that they would be registering their marriage, it was then that "the ice started thawing.. you [they] see each other as family rather than enemy, attitudes and behaviours change and the bonds start re-forming." The writer guiltily admits, "Before that, I had never imagined them as mature adults ready to commit a lifetime to each other." And we wonder what they had been doing for the past 10 years.
As to why this particular article resonates with me, my dear friends and family, should be very clear. I was, all of 16 when I got together with the boy (he was 18). I remembered rather vividly the disapproval from my parents, and certain adults in church because we were far too young. I am now hurtling, in 5 months, towards my 21st birthday, with the boy by my side, squabbling away like a pair of eccentric magpies. And I wonder, how peoples attitude would change 180 degrees in another 3 to 4 years, when that time comes. I am bemused, because people never seem to really recognized a couple until they are officially married.
Till then, we shall work on being "ready to commit a lifetime to each other", or, haven't you already known?
And now, Book 7 beckons...
The magical world aside, I came across a most pointed and poignant column in Life! today, by Teo Cheng Wee. His bolded summary of the column read,
"I've always been dismissive of the relationship between my youngest brother and his girlfriend. But at their wedding recently, it dawned on me that what they have is what I've always dreamt of having."
Apparently, this young couple tied the knot two weeks ago, on 070707, after 10 years of courtship. In this column, the writer recounts how his immediate family members had disapproved of the courtship because "they were all of 16 years when they got together." And the couple had to suffer a whole decade of doubts and disbeliefs that they will ever last. The cloud only lifted after they had announced that they would be registering their marriage, it was then that "the ice started thawing.. you [they] see each other as family rather than enemy, attitudes and behaviours change and the bonds start re-forming." The writer guiltily admits, "Before that, I had never imagined them as mature adults ready to commit a lifetime to each other." And we wonder what they had been doing for the past 10 years.
As to why this particular article resonates with me, my dear friends and family, should be very clear. I was, all of 16 when I got together with the boy (he was 18). I remembered rather vividly the disapproval from my parents, and certain adults in church because we were far too young. I am now hurtling, in 5 months, towards my 21st birthday, with the boy by my side, squabbling away like a pair of eccentric magpies. And I wonder, how peoples attitude would change 180 degrees in another 3 to 4 years, when that time comes. I am bemused, because people never seem to really recognized a couple until they are officially married.
Till then, we shall work on being "ready to commit a lifetime to each other", or, haven't you already known?
And now, Book 7 beckons...
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Pride and Prejudice
I have had a most uneventful day at home. Sleeping the afternoon away, and busying myself in finding things to do, and rather uncharacteristic of me. I have, however, discovered the joys of Pride and Prejudice after having watched the 2005 film version of the book, and finally understood how it can be such a much-loved classic.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Xiaoni, the boy and me
I wanted to upload a photograph and xiaoni, the boy and me taken during the boy's POP in 2004. But I couldn't find it. I will when I do.
Xiaoni, the boy and me is a funny trio. "the Ni" , or "xiaoni" 's real statutory name is Anthony, he is the boy's (vincent's) smallest brother, who follows us around whenever he can, since he was very young. For this reason, we often spend time together, playing cards in the hostel room last year, watch movie, eat.
Xiaoni, the one who bites from my subway sandwich while I am not paying attention, who calls me "AH GOON" just like the boy does, who hears my worries and laugh at them, who calls me 'gila'. Who, when the boy doesn't want to bring him around, says " i follow ah goon" and comes along anyway.
He, whom I treat as my own brother.
I wonder how our dynamics will change as we grow up. I hope nothing will change.
We've decided, he shall be called "Uncle Ni." although to us, he will always be "Xiaoni", no matter how old he grows.
Xiaoni, the boy and me is a funny trio. "the Ni" , or "xiaoni" 's real statutory name is Anthony, he is the boy's (vincent's) smallest brother, who follows us around whenever he can, since he was very young. For this reason, we often spend time together, playing cards in the hostel room last year, watch movie, eat.
Xiaoni, the one who bites from my subway sandwich while I am not paying attention, who calls me "AH GOON" just like the boy does, who hears my worries and laugh at them, who calls me 'gila'. Who, when the boy doesn't want to bring him around, says " i follow ah goon" and comes along anyway.
He, whom I treat as my own brother.
I wonder how our dynamics will change as we grow up. I hope nothing will change.
We've decided, he shall be called "Uncle Ni." although to us, he will always be "Xiaoni", no matter how old he grows.
Monday, July 2, 2007
To skim the heart's surface
I admit, I am wary.
The miroris event has taken a toll on us, that much is true. The events of the past few days have made me somewhat tired, and weary. I feel like I'm just waiting for this performance to pass. Waiting for next week to be over, after Campus Crusade freshman orientation camp, then I can finally have my own time and freedom again.
This blog may seem to depict a rather discontented life. But I would have the readers know that this view of my life is one-sided, because I usually cannot find the motivation to write here when I am happy or contented. My darker moments are usually also my more pensive moments.
I can understand why some famous writers and poets live tumultous lives. Perhaps, for them, such anguish is mettle for art, and sorrow the writer's opium.
What does it mean to guard one's heart? I cannot afford to ride an emotional roller-coaster, especially when the plunge downwards comes unforseen in the dark. So how can I smooth the peaks and the troughs?
We are created to be independent, and dependent at the same time. This balance is never easy to strike, especially when we put our trust in fallible human beings, knowing that we too, may fail them.
I need to rest.
The miroris event has taken a toll on us, that much is true. The events of the past few days have made me somewhat tired, and weary. I feel like I'm just waiting for this performance to pass. Waiting for next week to be over, after Campus Crusade freshman orientation camp, then I can finally have my own time and freedom again.
This blog may seem to depict a rather discontented life. But I would have the readers know that this view of my life is one-sided, because I usually cannot find the motivation to write here when I am happy or contented. My darker moments are usually also my more pensive moments.
I can understand why some famous writers and poets live tumultous lives. Perhaps, for them, such anguish is mettle for art, and sorrow the writer's opium.
What does it mean to guard one's heart? I cannot afford to ride an emotional roller-coaster, especially when the plunge downwards comes unforseen in the dark. So how can I smooth the peaks and the troughs?
We are created to be independent, and dependent at the same time. This balance is never easy to strike, especially when we put our trust in fallible human beings, knowing that we too, may fail them.
I need to rest.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Disappointments
My living tree shrivels in its own hope,
Strangled by the absence of promised sunlight.
Waited too long for a friendly bird's visit.
These little deaths that happen every day,
What does it matter.
Why make the heart jump, when you know it will stop?
A break in its constant rhythm is not welcomed
Its peaks and troughs are
Unpredictable, I will suffer
A cardiac arrest.
A tree with a pumping heart is not so hardy,
It dies sooner than you think.
Just takes, the absence
Of promised sunlight, and the no-show
Of a friend.
But the friend did come. A cheery bird, hopping,
Looking for the tree with a heart.
Puzzling, though, where did she go?
The little bird thought,
While perched on the dry dead tree.
W.J.H
Strangled by the absence of promised sunlight.
Waited too long for a friendly bird's visit.
These little deaths that happen every day,
What does it matter.
Why make the heart jump, when you know it will stop?
A break in its constant rhythm is not welcomed
Its peaks and troughs are
Unpredictable, I will suffer
A cardiac arrest.
A tree with a pumping heart is not so hardy,
It dies sooner than you think.
Just takes, the absence
Of promised sunlight, and the no-show
Of a friend.
But the friend did come. A cheery bird, hopping,
Looking for the tree with a heart.
Puzzling, though, where did she go?
The little bird thought,
While perched on the dry dead tree.
W.J.H
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
On space, time, and the past. - A tribute to my victorian days
The mathematical equations describing the relationship of space and time is not understood by many. At best, we know that space consists of 3 dimensions, and time is the 4th. Yet, the very concept of time is abstract and mysterious. We exist in its very fabric, but can't quite comprehend its substance, what it is made of, how it looks like, how does it look from higher dimensions. My greatest guess is this, we can understand 3 dimensions more because we exist in 4 dimensions,we can only truly 'see' time if we exist in the 5th dimension or higher. But I am not going to dwell on the physics of the matter in this post, but rather, to speak of my personal experience of the intricacies of space and time today.
I felt keenly its relationship today when I passed vj and met michelle at parkway parade for lunch. My senses picked up, the things that had change, and the things that had not. The things that endureth gave me a sense of place, the things that had not showed me lucidly, the passage of time. For sure, the vj building and the 24 hours glass panes I glimpsed remained as endearing, like an old faithful friend, but my delight and comfort turn into ambivalence as I gaze carefully at each student decked in vj uniform. None of them looked familiar.
I stepped into the familiar zone, and it seemed like the past did not completely disappear. The buddies laughter, and the big butt's bickering, the starbucks study sessions, and conversations over apollo char kway teow and dim sum lingered like pleasant ghosts of the past, in the bubble tea shop, the curry puff lady by the bus stop, in the treats food court, in macdonalds, at the flag pole in parkway.
The things that had changed reminded me that life had moved on without us. That parkway was in the hands of others, and we are mere visitors.
Once we leave the past, and move on seamlessly into another phase of time, the times of the past get frozen into a sacred shrine, invisible to human eye, but keenly felt in our souls.
I grazed the curtain of that shrine today, and felt the its breeze and breath on my face, ever so gently, and elusively.
The breeze of yesteryears, and the breath of its warm wind.
I felt keenly its relationship today when I passed vj and met michelle at parkway parade for lunch. My senses picked up, the things that had change, and the things that had not. The things that endureth gave me a sense of place, the things that had not showed me lucidly, the passage of time. For sure, the vj building and the 24 hours glass panes I glimpsed remained as endearing, like an old faithful friend, but my delight and comfort turn into ambivalence as I gaze carefully at each student decked in vj uniform. None of them looked familiar.
I stepped into the familiar zone, and it seemed like the past did not completely disappear. The buddies laughter, and the big butt's bickering, the starbucks study sessions, and conversations over apollo char kway teow and dim sum lingered like pleasant ghosts of the past, in the bubble tea shop, the curry puff lady by the bus stop, in the treats food court, in macdonalds, at the flag pole in parkway.
The things that had changed reminded me that life had moved on without us. That parkway was in the hands of others, and we are mere visitors.
Once we leave the past, and move on seamlessly into another phase of time, the times of the past get frozen into a sacred shrine, invisible to human eye, but keenly felt in our souls.
I grazed the curtain of that shrine today, and felt the its breeze and breath on my face, ever so gently, and elusively.
The breeze of yesteryears, and the breath of its warm wind.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Hostel application and its agony
Sigh, hostel application results have disappointed me again and again. Not that I expected to get a room in PGP through the appeal process. For sure, my reasons for appealing were not that compelling. Still, I felt it was worth a gamble as there was nothing to lose. Now i would have to wait till August to register on waiting list. Can anybody tell me what are my chances if I register on wait list? if you've been there, done that, my email is depth_of_grace@hotmail.com I would love to hear your story and get some well meaning advice from you. Never mind if we don't know each other, I would still love to hear from you.
IF any there are any friends out there who wishes to give up their hostel room, regardless if its PGP or elsewhere in NUS, please contact me. even though i know chances are slim. my contact number is 98772756.
Thank you, kind souls.
IF any there are any friends out there who wishes to give up their hostel room, regardless if its PGP or elsewhere in NUS, please contact me. even though i know chances are slim. my contact number is 98772756.
Thank you, kind souls.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Mission trip
There is a certain lull in the very heartbeat of Malaysia that holds a mysterious allure. Somehow, my worries seemed to dissipate a little, in my 8 days spent there,during the church retreat and the mission trip. Both trips were, enjoyable in their own special way. The retreat in a, "the fellowship is great and warm" kind of way. The mission trip in a, "fresh experience, communal living"way. But I must say that these 8 days have been really memorable and special to me. Already, I'm beginning to miss the little sanctuary that we spent our 3 nights in.
I really loved playing with the village children. I am very inclined to believe that in their young lives, they have never taken a picture with a digital camera before. They run and snatch the camera to see themselves displayed on a small screen, only to laugh and roll on the ground, they literally did. When we gave them lollipops, they put them into their mouths without removing the wrapper. And we have to cajole them to take the sweets out just so we can remove the wrapper.
I had a great time fellowshipping with churchmates, and I told them about a stupid worry I had that was plaguing me for months. And by telling them, I released the grip that the worry had on me, and I am glad that they were very understanding, and they will shoulder this burden with me, imaginary as it may be.
This post is not complete. I will write more after the pictures are in. because they will trigger my thoughts.
I really loved playing with the village children. I am very inclined to believe that in their young lives, they have never taken a picture with a digital camera before. They run and snatch the camera to see themselves displayed on a small screen, only to laugh and roll on the ground, they literally did. When we gave them lollipops, they put them into their mouths without removing the wrapper. And we have to cajole them to take the sweets out just so we can remove the wrapper.
I had a great time fellowshipping with churchmates, and I told them about a stupid worry I had that was plaguing me for months. And by telling them, I released the grip that the worry had on me, and I am glad that they were very understanding, and they will shoulder this burden with me, imaginary as it may be.
This post is not complete. I will write more after the pictures are in. because they will trigger my thoughts.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Musings on seafood.
The supermarket is a mini-zoo, it is. We went to purchase necessities for retreat, nick, the boy and I, and I wandered off to the raw food section, to observe some of my dead scaly friends. It wasn't an uncommon sight: Housewives and a host of other people, poking and fiddling around with the dead fishes, obviously heeding no attention to the cold dead jelly eyes staring back up at them.
These days, I have an unexplainable fascination with lobsters. I saw a couple of them today, they look like gigantic sea insects. There were also some live prawns swimming in a bubbling tank, staring at me with their black beady eyes. The way they stare at me, makes me wonder who's really the exhibit.
Eels are a slimey lot. They wriggled and slithered in a big bathtub of water, I pictured them as Ah boy's favourite unagi, and they suddenly seemed comical.
Crabs. Ah! I can't even begin to explain my ambivalent feelings towards them! I have always had a predatory attitude for them, because they are one of my favourite seafoods, (and as I say this I'm looking forward to eating one of them tomorrow en route to the retreat destination) . But looking at how they were man-handled or rather, woman-handled today made me feel a tinge of remorse and pity. Their huge brownish glory pincers were strap tight to their shells, and signs of struggle can be detected as they are picked up by human hands, examined, and then thrown back into the pile. In such a situation, their size and their strength becomes their folly, for the good ones always get cooked and eaten first. I spent a good minute staring at them, contemplating their sorry fate. But soon, the cloud cleared, and my momentous grief at their impending funeral dissipated like the wind, and the image of huge chili crabs of tomorrow began to float in my mind's eye. With that, I was forced to confront my hypocrisy, and to move on.
I saw remnants of a medusa. A tentacle of a many-legged (or many-handed?) creature, and shuddered at its raw form, having just ate a small baby one hours ago. Friends of Davy Jones, perhaps.
Seafood is such a delicacy. The fruits of the sea come in many succulent colours that entice our eyes as well as our stomachs. Yet, the fish market, albeit an upperclass supermarket, is evidence of the barbarity of nature and man. A morgue for the magnificient creatures of the sea. Here, they are ripped apart for autopsy by the pathologist, the fish-monger no doubt, but we know the cause of death alright, "acute airway occlusion" , whatever. Lets just be thankful they didn't die for nothing, for their deaths would sustain many lives of a superior, literate race, or so we rationalize.
Yet in such barbarity, I can see the wisdom of God's plan for nature that began in Genesis. I am not sure if I'm saying this because of my voracious appetite for food, as my friends would know, but surely, if it were otherwise, seafood or any food for that matter would not taste that good.
Of course, nothing on earth can be entirely objective. I am a human being, so I am biased.
If you are a fish, salmon or trout, tilapia or prawn, you would treat me as an enemy, someone to be FEARED.
Such is the law of the sea.
Its a man eat fish world.
These days, I have an unexplainable fascination with lobsters. I saw a couple of them today, they look like gigantic sea insects. There were also some live prawns swimming in a bubbling tank, staring at me with their black beady eyes. The way they stare at me, makes me wonder who's really the exhibit.
Eels are a slimey lot. They wriggled and slithered in a big bathtub of water, I pictured them as Ah boy's favourite unagi, and they suddenly seemed comical.
Crabs. Ah! I can't even begin to explain my ambivalent feelings towards them! I have always had a predatory attitude for them, because they are one of my favourite seafoods, (and as I say this I'm looking forward to eating one of them tomorrow en route to the retreat destination) . But looking at how they were man-handled or rather, woman-handled today made me feel a tinge of remorse and pity. Their huge brownish glory pincers were strap tight to their shells, and signs of struggle can be detected as they are picked up by human hands, examined, and then thrown back into the pile. In such a situation, their size and their strength becomes their folly, for the good ones always get cooked and eaten first. I spent a good minute staring at them, contemplating their sorry fate. But soon, the cloud cleared, and my momentous grief at their impending funeral dissipated like the wind, and the image of huge chili crabs of tomorrow began to float in my mind's eye. With that, I was forced to confront my hypocrisy, and to move on.
I saw remnants of a medusa. A tentacle of a many-legged (or many-handed?) creature, and shuddered at its raw form, having just ate a small baby one hours ago. Friends of Davy Jones, perhaps.
Seafood is such a delicacy. The fruits of the sea come in many succulent colours that entice our eyes as well as our stomachs. Yet, the fish market, albeit an upperclass supermarket, is evidence of the barbarity of nature and man. A morgue for the magnificient creatures of the sea. Here, they are ripped apart for autopsy by the pathologist, the fish-monger no doubt, but we know the cause of death alright, "acute airway occlusion" , whatever. Lets just be thankful they didn't die for nothing, for their deaths would sustain many lives of a superior, literate race, or so we rationalize.
Yet in such barbarity, I can see the wisdom of God's plan for nature that began in Genesis. I am not sure if I'm saying this because of my voracious appetite for food, as my friends would know, but surely, if it were otherwise, seafood or any food for that matter would not taste that good.
Of course, nothing on earth can be entirely objective. I am a human being, so I am biased.
If you are a fish, salmon or trout, tilapia or prawn, you would treat me as an enemy, someone to be FEARED.
Such is the law of the sea.
Its a man eat fish world.
Monday, May 28, 2007
To eat or not to eat, that is the question
My appetite for food has burnt holes in my pocket beyond any repair. I have plans to channel or change this craving for food, to fashion, (just like any girl my age), books, you name it. But I can't help having a higher marginal rate of substitution for food over anything else, although it might not be a good thing.
For one, the food I crave for are not really very healthy, I may literally "eat myself to death".
They are, most of the time, not cheap, and disappear quickly. There is nothing to take home.
I must find other joys in life that can distract me from this rather annoying habit, I feel like I live to eat.
For one, the food I crave for are not really very healthy, I may literally "eat myself to death".
They are, most of the time, not cheap, and disappear quickly. There is nothing to take home.
I must find other joys in life that can distract me from this rather annoying habit, I feel like I live to eat.
Irrational worries, or are they?
I worry every day about that strange woman's appearance into my life.
God help me.
People would find this worry peculiar if I told them what it really was.
But its real to me, an imminent threat.
Please, disappear, strange woman. Don't come into my life.
God help me.
People would find this worry peculiar if I told them what it really was.
But its real to me, an imminent threat.
Please, disappear, strange woman. Don't come into my life.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
a brush with the past
Went for Jason's choir concert, and keenly felt the sense of nostalgia. Saw many familiar faces, and greeted many old friends and juniors. It was like meeting up with my past.
Walking hand in hand with Ah boy in esplanade made me really thankful for having him with me. But save all the mushy stuff, and let's get to the point (obscure as it may be):
In acquiring so much, I stand to lose everything.
What a pessimist I am!
Audrey Ho, teach me to be optimistic like you are.
Walking hand in hand with Ah boy in esplanade made me really thankful for having him with me. But save all the mushy stuff, and let's get to the point (obscure as it may be):
In acquiring so much, I stand to lose everything.
What a pessimist I am!
Audrey Ho, teach me to be optimistic like you are.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Good Fellowship in homes
The past 2 days were spent with churchmates and were filled with much camaraderie. It was fun, spending the night at xueying's hse. Ah boy and wei wei shared room with james, while I with xueying. I got to glimpse into their family life, and their parents were very hospitable. I love to observe the lifestyles and families of others, and you get to learn alot, just by visiting their homes.
The concept of home, is a very comforting idea. Everywhere you look there are pictures of day-to-day life. Laundry basket, cupboards full of bed sheets, stoves, shampoos, washing machine you name it. And the activities that go on inside the home, simple, mundane perhaps but comforting. Mothers cooking in the home, simple dishes for sustenance and health, which is what we really need isn't it?
We tend to overlook the effort that goes into just preparing a simple meal for the family. From the purchase of ingredients, to preparing them, chopping, to cooking, to serving, then finally cleaning up, washing the dishes. All for a meal that last 15- 20 minutes, that disappears into our stomachs, but sustains us and gives us energy.
I must kick the habit of eating supper. It is extremely unhealthy. Really I must. I have been eating supper for the past few days, and its taking a toll on my pocket.
These days I have been talking to Ah Boy about property. Hmm but a more elaborate discussion on that later perhaps.
On a brighter note, its parents day tomorrow. And Ah Boy and I are worship leading. God help us. =)
The concept of home, is a very comforting idea. Everywhere you look there are pictures of day-to-day life. Laundry basket, cupboards full of bed sheets, stoves, shampoos, washing machine you name it. And the activities that go on inside the home, simple, mundane perhaps but comforting. Mothers cooking in the home, simple dishes for sustenance and health, which is what we really need isn't it?
We tend to overlook the effort that goes into just preparing a simple meal for the family. From the purchase of ingredients, to preparing them, chopping, to cooking, to serving, then finally cleaning up, washing the dishes. All for a meal that last 15- 20 minutes, that disappears into our stomachs, but sustains us and gives us energy.
I must kick the habit of eating supper. It is extremely unhealthy. Really I must. I have been eating supper for the past few days, and its taking a toll on my pocket.
These days I have been talking to Ah Boy about property. Hmm but a more elaborate discussion on that later perhaps.
On a brighter note, its parents day tomorrow. And Ah Boy and I are worship leading. God help us. =)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Seeing the world on hot wheels
Dear friends,
I have been away for awhile, busying myself with certain tasks. For one, I've began working, pouring ice water, clearing plates, setting tables, seeing the world in a restaurant. I wanted to 'see the other side of dining', and hope i would one day be able to set up my own restaurant. I don't know, however, how long I will last there, because I am already feeling restless, wanting to move on to new things. But it really is interesting, the different types of people that I've observed. There are rich expats, (presumably) who order a piece of tiramisu for 7.90, take a bite, ask for the bill and leave, leaving us dumbfounded as we clear their table, and relegate their tiramisu to the garbage bin.
There are those who say 'thank you, darling' and smile at you as you top up their ice water.
There are those who nod and avoid eye contact.
Some pretend you don't exist, and presume the water will just keep topping itself.
Funnily enough, some hover or grab their glasses protectively as you approach them with a jug of ice water, and you have no choice but to pass them by.
The other project I've been working on, is to get my Class 3 driving licence. Driving, for the time being, is as exciting as learning how to walk for the first time. Its therapeutic, and every lesson is something to look forward to.
Come back my friends, I promise to update more as blogger has become more user-friendly once again.
I have been away for awhile, busying myself with certain tasks. For one, I've began working, pouring ice water, clearing plates, setting tables, seeing the world in a restaurant. I wanted to 'see the other side of dining', and hope i would one day be able to set up my own restaurant. I don't know, however, how long I will last there, because I am already feeling restless, wanting to move on to new things. But it really is interesting, the different types of people that I've observed. There are rich expats, (presumably) who order a piece of tiramisu for 7.90, take a bite, ask for the bill and leave, leaving us dumbfounded as we clear their table, and relegate their tiramisu to the garbage bin.
There are those who say 'thank you, darling' and smile at you as you top up their ice water.
There are those who nod and avoid eye contact.
Some pretend you don't exist, and presume the water will just keep topping itself.
Funnily enough, some hover or grab their glasses protectively as you approach them with a jug of ice water, and you have no choice but to pass them by.
The other project I've been working on, is to get my Class 3 driving licence. Driving, for the time being, is as exciting as learning how to walk for the first time. Its therapeutic, and every lesson is something to look forward to.
Come back my friends, I promise to update more as blogger has become more user-friendly once again.
Friday, May 11, 2007
ramblings
I am eager to fly, but am held back by conventions of society, family ties, money or lack thereof, and perhaps my own impatience and immaturity, ironic as that may seem.
How to guarantee a return on an investment? There is always risk, and I have a love-hate relationship with risk.
Time eludes us, but at the same time, it binds us, or paralyse us from going where (or when?) we want to go. We could transport outselves thru space, but not through time. Sometimes, it is ephemeral, sometimes, its inexorable permanence is excruciating, especially if it stands between now and an anticipated event.
But, they say everything has a season, for every season there is a purpose. I can't pin my purpose down, perhaps it would only be revealed in time.
I am 20 years old, or 20 years young. would the next 20 years before i reach 40 be faster or slower than its precedent?
Why, does the opening of the train door at my designated stop always seem like an eternity, while the journey to that destination was so swift?
It's a strange thing. A decade can be gone in a moment, but a moment can stretch to eternity.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Weird layout
Can someone tell me how come this page where I'm suppose to post my entries has a funny layout? Are all bloggers from blogspot experiencing this too?
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Harmony and Disharmony
Everyone has these moments. Of harmony and disharmony, with the people close to them, including oneself. Movies often end on notes of harmony, a 'happy ending' but really it doesn't just stop there. It's like a business cycle. They chose to end on a high, but you know somewhere down the line, there will be another trough, and you know it will pick itself up from there again.
So, everyone has their ' i love you' and 'i don't love you' moments. But its the choice to believe in the 'i love you' moments that gets them through their next 'i don't love you' moments.
So, everyone has their ' i love you' and 'i don't love you' moments. But its the choice to believe in the 'i love you' moments that gets them through their next 'i don't love you' moments.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
YO
Have you ever seen such a comical sight? Our dear church friend Zihao has gone and got himself a very unique lorry. He painted over "TO" and "TA" in "TOYOTA" just so he can have a "YO" at the butt of his lorry greeting the world. If you do see this lorry on the road, chances are, its him. He who steers the lorry with one hand.
Imagine. 2 lorries pulled up beside each other at the traffic light. One has TOYOTA behind, the other one is just YO.
Well, we helped nicholas' mother move house today, and he treated us to a very nice lunch at Hooked on Heads. We had curry fish head, sambal stingray, black pepper beef, prawn paste chicken, mapo tofu, kangkong. I wanted to take pictures but GUESS WHAT?
Yup you guessed it, forgot to do it once the food arrived. But it was appetizing I assure you.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Indifference
Indifference -- a technical term. The indifference curve maps the consumer's marginal rate of substitution of Good A for Good B
Indifferent -- such a nonchalent word. I am indifferent about going to the movies or having dinner at this restaurant.
Indifferent -- such an easy going word. I am indifferent about yellow and red. You make the choice.
Indifferent -- cold and hurting. I am indifferent between spending time with you and doing my own things.
Indifferent -- such a nonchalent word. I am indifferent about going to the movies or having dinner at this restaurant.
Indifferent -- such an easy going word. I am indifferent about yellow and red. You make the choice.
Indifferent -- cold and hurting. I am indifferent between spending time with you and doing my own things.
the end of year 1
There are issues of immediate concern that I am reluctant to write on, because I am afraid that doing so would open a flood gate of torrential feelings and reminiscence. Setting these embodied thoughts into black and white gives them too much wield over me. I prefer them relegated to some inaccessible part of my mind.
Exams has ended, so year 1 flies by.
On a brighter note, will be going to xian de lai for steamboat in 5 minutes. I hope I will remember to upload some pictures of a hot steaming comfort boat, and some moments of good fellowship.
Till then.
Exams has ended, so year 1 flies by.
On a brighter note, will be going to xian de lai for steamboat in 5 minutes. I hope I will remember to upload some pictures of a hot steaming comfort boat, and some moments of good fellowship.
Till then.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
a quilt of memories
Dear friends,
The other day Ah boy and I were talking about our past, and I thank God for giving us such a long history together, so many numerous shared experience. In retrospect, I think God has really been really good, they way he interweaved the both of our past to cross each other in so many occasions.
I still remember him when we were in Sunday School, when I was 7 and he was 9. Subsequently, his mother became my sunday school teacher. How comical is that? Even now, I call her 'yu rong laoshi' after so many years. I guess I can't really dismiss the fact that she once taught me when I was young. Once a teacher, forever a teacher. At that time, Ah boy was always hanging around the back during Sunday School, with his 'i can't be bothered' and 'this is lame' attitude. But Ah boy was not my ah boy then, I merely called him 'Vin' short for 'vincent'.
I remember our awkward adolescence. Ah boy was skinny then, and he had a lot of leg hair and i was abit afraid of his sullen face. I was afraid of people with alot of leg hair because in my mind, leg hair = pervert. hahaha. How funny is that?
When I grew to Sec ONE and joined Nanyang choir, he was the VP in Cat High choir. And as Providence would have it, both choirs along with dunman high, travelled to the beautiful sandy Waikiki beach in Hawaii for a choral festival. I liked him then, and it was rumored he had feelings for me.
We continued interacting in church, being in the same cell and all. There were pleasant memories of church retreat, common jokes that happen to certain comical people in church, the camaraderie of youth camp, of christmas carnivals and carolling.
In 2002, he went to Hwa Chong choir, which shares the same choir instructor as Nanyang Choir. This seemingly trivial circumstancial 'coincidence' proved pivotal for the start of our relationship on 1 March 2003. Follow the train of argument; because we shared the same instructor, we had a choral workshop at Victoria concert hall, because I had worship prac that day, Ah boy followed me to church, on the MRT, HQ (Bless him!) messaged him saying he wanted to talk to him, I instinctively knew he wanted to talk to him about our 'too close for comfort behaviour' so I told Ah boy what the discussion would be about
The events of March 1st 2003 merits another story on its own, but suffice it to say, I became his girlfriend. The rest, as they say, is history.
God was gracious in granting him the MOE scholarship (local), even though he only applied for the award. And the Almighty's act of graciousness enabled the both of us to be reading economics in NUS under the same scholarship, and provided us with the financial means to finance our education and our future.
Today, we are the cell leaders of the youngest cell in the youth zone. And our teenage years have come full circle.
Thank you Lord for writing our love story.
The other day Ah boy and I were talking about our past, and I thank God for giving us such a long history together, so many numerous shared experience. In retrospect, I think God has really been really good, they way he interweaved the both of our past to cross each other in so many occasions.
I still remember him when we were in Sunday School, when I was 7 and he was 9. Subsequently, his mother became my sunday school teacher. How comical is that? Even now, I call her 'yu rong laoshi' after so many years. I guess I can't really dismiss the fact that she once taught me when I was young. Once a teacher, forever a teacher. At that time, Ah boy was always hanging around the back during Sunday School, with his 'i can't be bothered' and 'this is lame' attitude. But Ah boy was not my ah boy then, I merely called him 'Vin' short for 'vincent'.
I remember our awkward adolescence. Ah boy was skinny then, and he had a lot of leg hair and i was abit afraid of his sullen face. I was afraid of people with alot of leg hair because in my mind, leg hair = pervert. hahaha. How funny is that?
When I grew to Sec ONE and joined Nanyang choir, he was the VP in Cat High choir. And as Providence would have it, both choirs along with dunman high, travelled to the beautiful sandy Waikiki beach in Hawaii for a choral festival. I liked him then, and it was rumored he had feelings for me.
We continued interacting in church, being in the same cell and all. There were pleasant memories of church retreat, common jokes that happen to certain comical people in church, the camaraderie of youth camp, of christmas carnivals and carolling.
In 2002, he went to Hwa Chong choir, which shares the same choir instructor as Nanyang Choir. This seemingly trivial circumstancial 'coincidence' proved pivotal for the start of our relationship on 1 March 2003. Follow the train of argument; because we shared the same instructor, we had a choral workshop at Victoria concert hall, because I had worship prac that day, Ah boy followed me to church, on the MRT, HQ (Bless him!) messaged him saying he wanted to talk to him, I instinctively knew he wanted to talk to him about our 'too close for comfort behaviour' so I told Ah boy what the discussion would be about
The events of March 1st 2003 merits another story on its own, but suffice it to say, I became his girlfriend. The rest, as they say, is history.
God was gracious in granting him the MOE scholarship (local), even though he only applied for the award. And the Almighty's act of graciousness enabled the both of us to be reading economics in NUS under the same scholarship, and provided us with the financial means to finance our education and our future.
Today, we are the cell leaders of the youngest cell in the youth zone. And our teenage years have come full circle.
Thank you Lord for writing our love story.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
A place to call my own?
Dear friends,
We had a gathering today at Nick's house for the worship ministry. Wish I had pictures to show, but the phone battery was flat. It was alright. A little blander than expected because we discussed the same issues year in year out. The best time was the fellowship we had, playing heart attack and mahjong. haha. This is about the 3rd time we've used Nicholas' house for church events since he and audrey moved in.
Ah boy sent Grace Buy and I home. We went to the hawker centre to get some dinner, and she invited the sis and I to her beautifully renovated home. We shared some views abt our love for singing, which is very encouraging indeed.
The boy and I are looking forward to the idea of owning our own house in the future. The autonomy of owning your own piece of property is amazing. You can renovate it however you like, invite friends over for meals and movies, use it to bless others. The prospect is indeed thrilling. Not that living with our parents is without merit, it does have its benefits. But somehow owning property is a sign that one has truly achieved the "status" of adulthood.
Our ideal, is to have a few close friends (you know who you are) come on a regular basis to just hang out and fellowship. Young people usually have to resort to meeting at crowded places like town, or east coast to catch up, and so end up spending alot of money just finding things to do outside. Seldom do they meet in each other's houses, because you know, after all the house is not really theirs, and we have to put up with all the formalities of being courteous and polite to their parents.
To have our own place, means we really and truly can have uninhibited fellowship, and is definitely a plus if we plan to do youth work in future.
Still, one must not always look to the future and cease living in the present. I tend to do that often. Each season of life has its own joys, and I must be careful not to miss them, because time waits for no one.
I suppose what we can do actively in the present to make that dream come true is to build up our support network with the friends among us. Church people like James, Nick Audrey, Phoebe, Amanda, Xiaowen, Yanru, Youjun, Wei Wei, the elijahs, abia, dot, fish, suatyria, dominic, maggie, sharon, anthony, jason.. basically all our youths. grace buy, eugene etc. Not forgetting school people, perhaps even my old time friends and buddies,michelle, Zhonyun, Rebekah and Gabriel, Erica, Daphne, ruth, etc. I desire very much to keep in contact with these wonderful people and hope that they will not just be my friends, but our friends. Who knows when we might need them in times of trials, or they us?
God help us to make and keep good friends in life, they are a gift from Him.
We had a gathering today at Nick's house for the worship ministry. Wish I had pictures to show, but the phone battery was flat. It was alright. A little blander than expected because we discussed the same issues year in year out. The best time was the fellowship we had, playing heart attack and mahjong. haha. This is about the 3rd time we've used Nicholas' house for church events since he and audrey moved in.
Ah boy sent Grace Buy and I home. We went to the hawker centre to get some dinner, and she invited the sis and I to her beautifully renovated home. We shared some views abt our love for singing, which is very encouraging indeed.
The boy and I are looking forward to the idea of owning our own house in the future. The autonomy of owning your own piece of property is amazing. You can renovate it however you like, invite friends over for meals and movies, use it to bless others. The prospect is indeed thrilling. Not that living with our parents is without merit, it does have its benefits. But somehow owning property is a sign that one has truly achieved the "status" of adulthood.
Our ideal, is to have a few close friends (you know who you are) come on a regular basis to just hang out and fellowship. Young people usually have to resort to meeting at crowded places like town, or east coast to catch up, and so end up spending alot of money just finding things to do outside. Seldom do they meet in each other's houses, because you know, after all the house is not really theirs, and we have to put up with all the formalities of being courteous and polite to their parents.
To have our own place, means we really and truly can have uninhibited fellowship, and is definitely a plus if we plan to do youth work in future.
Still, one must not always look to the future and cease living in the present. I tend to do that often. Each season of life has its own joys, and I must be careful not to miss them, because time waits for no one.
I suppose what we can do actively in the present to make that dream come true is to build up our support network with the friends among us. Church people like James, Nick Audrey, Phoebe, Amanda, Xiaowen, Yanru, Youjun, Wei Wei, the elijahs, abia, dot, fish, suatyria, dominic, maggie, sharon, anthony, jason.. basically all our youths. grace buy, eugene etc. Not forgetting school people, perhaps even my old time friends and buddies,michelle, Zhonyun, Rebekah and Gabriel, Erica, Daphne, ruth, etc. I desire very much to keep in contact with these wonderful people and hope that they will not just be my friends, but our friends. Who knows when we might need them in times of trials, or they us?
God help us to make and keep good friends in life, they are a gift from Him.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Juicy Steak!
This coffee shop at the void deck of Toa Payoh Lorong 5 has been featured in Lifestyle Food!
This is a picture of the tenderloin steak that costs only $10! The rib eye (thinner) goes for $9
The stall is called UNO beef house, and it sells affordable and quality western food!
The potato ball looks deceptively like bread at first, but is actually creamy mash potato! Quite a refreshing change from the normal baked potato with sour cream that we usually have with steaks.
The steak itself is flavourful and juicy, of course it cannot beat Jack's place steak, but its still commendable.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Exams prep and a surprise meeting
Dear friends,
Exam preparations are rather gruelling. It never pays to work at the last minute, but, as human nature would have it, I have not changed my undesirable habits.
It was pleasant having a chance meeting with Amanda this afternoon at the subway in school. I love spontaneity, well, at times, makes life exciting. But I prefer spontaneity that leads to a good outcome, not one that would result in an unfavourable circumstance, but don't we all?
By this time next week, my exams would have ended, and so Year ONE would have flew passed. Then there's 3 months of idleness, well not really. There's still church retreat and mission trip to look forward to.
Now, its back to psychology and economics, somehow, i'm more thrilled by the latter, contrary to popular opinion.
Exam preparations are rather gruelling. It never pays to work at the last minute, but, as human nature would have it, I have not changed my undesirable habits.
It was pleasant having a chance meeting with Amanda this afternoon at the subway in school. I love spontaneity, well, at times, makes life exciting. But I prefer spontaneity that leads to a good outcome, not one that would result in an unfavourable circumstance, but don't we all?
By this time next week, my exams would have ended, and so Year ONE would have flew passed. Then there's 3 months of idleness, well not really. There's still church retreat and mission trip to look forward to.
Now, its back to psychology and economics, somehow, i'm more thrilled by the latter, contrary to popular opinion.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
A crab craving!
dear friends,
I suddenly have a craving for seafood, after seeing an advertisement for seafood platter for 2 on Jack's Place seafood harvest. Its got all my favourite foods, crabs, prawn, oyster, sushi, lobster. Wah! heaven. The boy refuses to go because he doesn't like seafood and says its too pricey. My father loves crab but he can't eat it because of his arthritis. Sigh! When will I taste it again?
The perfect birthday meal happened some time ago at Noble House Restaurant, where Grace Buy got married. But we went on my birthday for a buffet, Nicholas, Audrey, the boy and I. I had 2 big servings of crab! One in the traditional egg chilli gravy, and the other in white wine and egg white. It was small, but fantastic. I also had my first taste of pigeon soup there. Wow! I was so caught up in the atmosphere and the taste of the food, savouring every moment I was there, that I forgot to take pictures! And now I can only transcribe my memory into words, and hope you can imagine the exquisite taste.
As I type this entry, I'm, at the least comforting myself with chilli crab flavoured cup noodles. Haha.
More soon
I suddenly have a craving for seafood, after seeing an advertisement for seafood platter for 2 on Jack's Place seafood harvest. Its got all my favourite foods, crabs, prawn, oyster, sushi, lobster. Wah! heaven. The boy refuses to go because he doesn't like seafood and says its too pricey. My father loves crab but he can't eat it because of his arthritis. Sigh! When will I taste it again?
The perfect birthday meal happened some time ago at Noble House Restaurant, where Grace Buy got married. But we went on my birthday for a buffet, Nicholas, Audrey, the boy and I. I had 2 big servings of crab! One in the traditional egg chilli gravy, and the other in white wine and egg white. It was small, but fantastic. I also had my first taste of pigeon soup there. Wow! I was so caught up in the atmosphere and the taste of the food, savouring every moment I was there, that I forgot to take pictures! And now I can only transcribe my memory into words, and hope you can imagine the exquisite taste.
As I type this entry, I'm, at the least comforting myself with chilli crab flavoured cup noodles. Haha.
More soon
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Finally, a virtual space of my own!
Dear friends,
I am an avid blog stalker. I love to read the blogs of others, friends, acquaintances, strangers alike and catch of glimpse of their thoughts and musings. It is a way of sharing life with others. I may not write as beautifully as some of my friends, you know who you are. =). But I sure aspire to.
I have named this blog hungrygoon because my beloved calls me goon, and i'm hungry most of the time. This is the simplest explanation I have for it.
I have a few purposes for this virtual space I call my own. To recommend good food! because that is one of the most glorious pleasures God has given us on this earth! To record my thoughts and musings, and also to do pen my memories.
Do visit often.
I am an avid blog stalker. I love to read the blogs of others, friends, acquaintances, strangers alike and catch of glimpse of their thoughts and musings. It is a way of sharing life with others. I may not write as beautifully as some of my friends, you know who you are. =). But I sure aspire to.
I have named this blog hungrygoon because my beloved calls me goon, and i'm hungry most of the time. This is the simplest explanation I have for it.
I have a few purposes for this virtual space I call my own. To recommend good food! because that is one of the most glorious pleasures God has given us on this earth! To record my thoughts and musings, and also to do pen my memories.
Do visit often.
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